Never ever

Yesterday, as I was talking to one of my officemates whose father passed away a couple of weeks after my dad did, I was reminded by the situation that I hope, wish and pray to God that nobody will ever or has ever encountered in their entire life.

February 2, 2011

My father insisted, rather demanded that I go to our office and open the store. You see, our store has been closed for more than a week. Being the dutiful daughter that I was, I opened the store, I was even calling my dad to ask about prices. But at the same time, I was also in panic mode. My brother who caught dengue a couple of days after we found out about my Dad's cancer was looking for blood donors. His platelet has dropped to 8 and he was in critical mode that morning.

I was frantically texting friends who can go to the hospital and donate blood. The we received a call. Someone told us that one of our customers passed away. In an instant, in that fraction of a second, it sinked inside me that my dad will too but I brushed that thought away, even slapping myself to rid of those thoughts. A couple minutes later I received a text from my aunt, we have matching platelet donors. I gave a sigh of relief. I called my mom to tell her the news. Her voice was frantic. She answered me that my dad was having hard time breathing and dropped the call. A couple of minutes later, my aunt called. In a grave voice, she told me that I need to go home ASAP. I frantically grabbed stuff, closed our store and asked the driver to drive me home.

As I was sitting inside the car, I was praying the rosary and crying at the same time. I had a sinking feeling that something was really wrong. When I reached home, I jumped out of the car and banged on our gate, I forgot to bring my keys and I couldn't go in. I banged the door for a couple of minutes until my mom ran to the door opening it and she said "Diane, your father" with hysterically crying. I ran inside, saw my Dad lying on the bed, his body still warm but his soul no longer connected to his body, he was not breathing anymore. At first I couldn't believe it. My Dad couldn't leave me. He promised me a lot of things and now he's gone. He said he would walk me own the aisle, he said he was gonna get better, he said we will travel the world with my mom and he said he was not going to leave us.

The ambulance came, but the doctor declared my Dad dead. My mom was hysterical, my uncle was crying and calling our relatives, my aunt was praying with the doctor for my Dad's departed soul. I was numb.

As they were wheeling my Dad's body to the ambulance, my mom and I followed. Suddenly, my mom passed out, hitting her head in our metal gate and then on the concrete floor. I was frozen. My aunt started calling out to my mother and thankfully she gained consciousness. I breathed a sigh of relief.

When we reached the hospital, I felt like dying inside. While other people were celebrating the Chinese New Year, I was at Chinese General Hospital - my brother was upstairs having a blood transfusion, my Dad was lying in the ER and declared DOA, while I was accompanying my mom to the x-ray lab to examine her head. My life in shambles.

How I got over that moment, God only knows. What I do know is that, that was the lowest point in my life and I pray that nobody has to ever encounter this in their life.